The Biggest Lesson I’m Taking Into Year 31: Resilience

I turned 31 yesterday and naturally, I’m reflecting a LOT on my 30th year. If I were to sum up the one takeaway from my 30th lap around the sun, it’s that resilience is the one tool I need to carry me through the unpredictability of life.

30 was the most jarring, topsy-turvy, and terrifying year, yet the year I learned the power of bouncing back. It’s also the year I leaned into the very cheesy notion that everything happens for a reason. Year 30 showed me that I believe that more than ever before.

In my late 20s I learned that I was a have-my-cake-and-eat-it-too type of person. I rarely believe in limitations, and most times, I feel like we stop ourselves from going after what we want not because it’s impossible, but because we talk ourselves out of it. We also have society, and often friends and family, who lovingly give their unsolicited advice on what’s “possible” or “doable” based on their lived experiences, which most times don’t reflect our own.

I knew for quite some time that I wanted a life abroad, outside of the United States.

I also knew that community and my chosen family are what make a place feel like home. It was hard to imagine moving so far away that my connections would suffer as the result of a time zone difference. It was hard to imagine a life where I had to get on an 8–10 hour flight just to visit my loved ones. But it was also hard to imagine Chicago being the only place I call home.

So I found a country that was flexible enough to have a residency while still having close ties to home (Chicago). 

I chose residency in Mexico because it’s one of the few countries that’s generous with its residency programs, and there’s no set number of days you need to remain in Mexico to maintain it.

When I turned 29, I started taking Spanish lessons. In December, I got my visa approved for temporary residency. Months later, in April, I got my residency approved for a year, with the option to renew. I’d been remote since the pandemic, and since I had no obligation to be in an office, my plan was to wait out my Chicago lease until it ended in April, put all of my furniture in storage, and move to Mexico City for a full year. I knew I would be back and forth from Chicago, but I wanted to experience a full year abroad and, if I chose to, I could renew for another year. 

I detail the process a bit more HERE. 

April 15th, I received my residency card in Mexico City after nearly eight months of planning, Spanish lessons, address changes, and endless moving logistics.

On April 16th, I was laid off from my remote job.

I can’t quite describe the feeling of being in a foreign country when your safety net and sense of security vanish. I’m a Virgo and a planner to my core. I live in spreadsheets. I have a five-year plan that feeds into a yearly goal sheet, that feeds into a monthly to-do list, that feeds into a daily task calendar. I plan my plans. I know which steps I’ll take, how I’ll take them, and when. This move was meticulously mapped out, and still, it crumbled.

And for those wondering, yes, my job knew about my move. Almost a year in advance. They even championed it. It was a brutally cruel reminder that in a capitalistic world, the bottom line will always come before the well-being of staff.

After crying for about 24 hours straight, I decided I had no choice but to snap out of my deeply emotional state and laser-focus on next steps.

I broke my lease (needed to cut any overhead) and a friend of mine who was in Mexico City for the summer generously offered me a place to stay in her 2 bed, 2 bath sublet while I job hunted.

The way my friends showed up for me during this time left me speechless. The FaceTime calls, Zoom calls, check-ins, Venmos, “I got your groceries this week,” and “I’m coming to see you.” Yes, I even had friends book flights to Mexico to see me. All of it made me realize I hadn’t lost anything at all. I had everything I needed to get to the other side of this unpredictable time.

I also managed to step away from job hunting every so often to record my fiction podcast and shoot the next iteration of my photo series. Creativity and community kept me going.

I applied to 86 jobs. Yes, 86. I still have the spreadsheet with every single link to my tailored resumes and cover letters. I would spend my days in Mexico City tucked into gorgeous cafés, applying, applying, applying. It literally became a ritual: order a chai latte, open my laptop, and try to convince strangers on the internet that I was worth hiring for about 5 hours a day. 

Out of those 86 applications, I interviewed at 3 companies. And I landed 1. Ironically, it was a promotion. I was laid off from a senior strategist role and accepted a position as an associate strategy director. It was a hybrid role, three days in office and two remote. In this economy, especially after the jarring experience of being laid off right after moving abroad for what I thought would be a year, I was more than happy to do what I had to do.

It was nothing short of a miracle. I lost my job on April 16th and signed an offer on May 27th. As much bliss as I as feeling, I also had an overwhelming panic of having exactly three weeks to get back to Chicago, find an apartment, get my stuff out of storage, and settle in so I could be in the office on my start date of June 16th. 

And the wild part is, I did it. Within 21 days I flew back to Chicago, found an apartment, booked movers, moved my stuff out of storage into the new apartment, and was ready for my first day of work exactly two months after I was laid off. It was as if I never left, the only difference is, I now am a resident of Mexico. 

The bright side of all of this is that I am still a resident of Mexico. Through all of this, my dream of becoming a permanent resident is still possible. I now have an incredible immigration lawyer helping me with the renewal, and in a few years, my dream of permanent residency will come true. Another plus is that I absolutely love my job. Not many people can say they love their day jobs, and not many artists who have day jobs to pay the bills enjoy what they do in their 9–5. I genuinely love being a strategist and really enjoy this company.

I am grateful for three things: my art, my community, and my intuition. Being able to still record and edit my fiction podcast in between minor meltdowns, interviews, and job hunting kept me sane. My friends showing up for me kept my spirits lifted. And my intuition. Let’s just say I am so glad I put my stuff in storage “just in case,” paid an early cancellation fee on my Mexico City lease “just in case I needed to break it,” and chose Mexico as a flexible residency “just in case I needed to come back to Chicago.”

Most importantly, I’m grateful that year 30 showed me exactly what I’m capable of. If January me met September me, she wouldn’t recognize herself. I no longer see resilience as something you tap into only when needed. It’s etched into every fiber of my being now. As much as I plan, I’ve learned to build next-level contingencies and, just as importantly, to stay grounded when life throws its inevitable curveballs.

Will I live in Mexico City again full-time one day? I sure hope so. For now, I’m enjoying the challenge of building a life abroad while maintaining a life in Chicago. I’m enjoying rolling with the punches and the “both/and” space my life seems to occupy.

My 30th year was getting a visa in September, residency and moving in April, laid off in April, a new job in June, and moving back by the end of June. It was by far the wildest year of my life.

30 showed me what I was capable of.
30 showed me how much love surrounds me.
30 propelled me into the next step of my career.
30 asked, “How serious are you about having your cake and eating it too?” in the wildest way possible.

And I can stand ten toes down on the fact that I wouldn’t have it any other way.

I celebrated 31 in Mexico City with a five-day trip.

A hot air balloon ride over the Mexican pyramids, a new tattoo, and a photoshoot. also got to catch up with the friends I made while I lived here briefly.

It was my first time entering Mexico as a resident and using my residency card at the airport.

It was the first time in Mexico after taking Spanish lessons for a full 15 months, and the most fluent I’ve ever been.

I got a tattoo, had a photoshoot with a local photographer, took a hot air balloon ride over the pyramids, and saw some of my favorite people, mis amigos.

Mexico is truly part of me now. And I cannot wait for more adventures, more community, and more growth.

I will say, I sure hope 31 is smoother than 30. lol